ZADR Mocumentary

                                              ZADR Mocumentary

The Genesis

In the beginning... there was NOTHING. But then one day, the great creator Jhonen Vasquez picked up a pencil and drew a little alien on a piece of paper. "I shall call him ZIM!" he proclaimed.

The creation known as Zim was an odd little thing. Jhonen didn't know where in those brainmeats of his he got the alien from, but after staring at the alien for a few hours, He decided, "Zim needs a nemesis!" Thus, Dib was born along with a myriad of supporting characters.

And so it was that Jhonen created the OTP that was Zim and Dib (though he didn't know it at the time). One was an invader, a conqueror of worlds! The other was a protector, guardian of one world... Earth. When the two met, the universe trembled at their battles! It was glorious...

Soon, the two acquired admirers who worshiped them from afar, who drew their likenesses and called them 'Kawaii' then drew them older and called them 'Bishi' and squealed and giggled insanely whenever they looked upon them.

Within The Order of the Fangirls there were some that witnessed the rivalry and yet saw something else. Something that perhaps was just a figment of their imagination. But their imagination was strong and the feeling that they had stumbled upon something wonderful consumed them! The one called Panur gave this feeling a name and drew the pair together for others to see. She and hers called themselves 'shippers' and they called their new love 'ZADR' and created, on that memorable April morning, a shrine in which to indulge themselves with this new pairing. They created the shrine in the land of DeviantArt, since they were already established members of that community.

Their fellow fangirls were not pleased.

"What blasphemy is this?"  inquired one.

"I do not know, my dear friend,"  replied another.

"I wish neh to see these things again,"  said the first defiantly.

But some wanted to know more of such a pairing. Zim and Gaz were all they were used to, and the occasional talk of Gaz and Gir. So Zim and Dib was something new. They made frequent visits to the small shrine the shippers had created, studying its contents until they came to the conclusion that ZADR was good for their souls.

Word of the new Order of ZADR spread quickly, attracting disgusted-yet-intrigued deviants who came from all walks of life. They came forward slowly at first, wary of the unavoidable judgment they were sure to receive from friends and family who believed in keeping the fandom pure. But they persisted, lurking in the shadows near the shrine, donning masks and coming to worship in secret.

Word eventually spread to the creator, Jhonen himself! His belly became ill. He drank a bottle of Pepto and slept it off, going about his usual business the next day.

Filled with rage at his discomfort, Jhonen's devoted worshipers sought to either shun or harass all those who admired such a blasphemous fandom. At first they attacked alone, or in disorganized two's and three's, to destroy the fandom known as ZADR.

*In the Anti-ZADR planning room:

Leader: Okay, girls. Let us create our battle plan. First.. we are going to BLOW UP the ZADR shippers! Then-

Minion: Excuse me, Ma'am... although I agree that this is an unsightly thing that the world would be better off without, is blowing them up really necessary?

Leader: What nonsense are you spouting?! Of course it is! What they have done is unforgivable... THEY HAVE BETRAYED THE GREAT CREATOR JHONEN!

Minion: It's not all that bad... some of it is actually kind of... cute.

Leader: SILENCE FOOL! *explodes minion* ANYONE ELSE WANT TO SPEAK AGAINST THIS CAUSE?!

*silence*

Leader: Onward then! To defend the Almighty Jhonen's belly!

The Fandom Wars

And so the Fandom Wars began. Angry anti-mobs raided the homes of the shippers and set flame to their good works, justifying their acts by claiming to be carrying out the will of their Creator. Concerned neighbors and fellow shippers tried to lend their support. Some were caught in the cross-fire and chose to retaliate, setting off a vicious cycle that was quickly spinning out of control. Calls for cease-fire arose from both sides until the local officials began to banish all those involved and, out of fear of being next, the dust grudgingly settled.

Although most shippers survived the raids, there were also a few casualties and people who voluntarily left their homes because they couldn't bear the hurt and shame they'd acquired during that time anymore.   

Since then, the activities at the shippers' shine continued unabated, determined to support what they felt was right. And so they were allowed to do so peacefully (for the most part) for a long time.

The Transfer Of Power

But all was not well within the ZADR community. The High Priestess, who had first created the ZADR Shrine, had gone to the Nacho Festival to stuff her face for an indeterminate amount of time. She decided then, to pass the torch on to one of her trusted apprentices, whom the Priestess herself had knighted as Darth Bandeet. She was one who had wandered into the shrine without knowing what it was but had become an instant and eager devotee, who went on what could only be described as a pilgrimage that lasted 3 months where she proselytized to all Zim and Dib Fangirls she could, and brought their good works back to the shrine. She sought and achieved countless Kiribans to win more good works, she wrote, cherry-picked and organized a series of sacred ZADR texts with over 100 to boast in her archives. Such dedication was soon rewarded and she quickly climbed the ranks.

With the reins of power now in her hands, the apprentice became ambitious. ZADR, rather than blood, now flowed through her veins and she would stop at nothing to bring in as much as she could in whatever form she could find. The people began to ask "What is ZADR?" and she would reply "Zim and Dib together." The vagueness of this approach opened the doors to all manner of deviations. Imaginations had to be stretched to their limits to justify some of the material that found its way into the shrine... and then the M-Preg Bomb was dropped.

The M-Preg Bomb

One day there came to the shrine doors a new convert. Once an enemy, now a fervent believer. All it had taken to change her mind was a chance encounter with Where Do Smeets Come From?, a piece of ZADR literature written by none other than the Apprentice herself! The Robot girl somehow found the story, got hooked on it, and fell desperately in love with the concept:

"It's official. I'M OBSESSED! *twitch* I just can't stop drawing da preggy Dibby! IT'S TOO CUTE!!!"

The M-preg bomb shook the very foundations of the fandom. Once the Robot girl started depositing massive loads of incredibly similar looking pictures of "da preggy Dibby" the apprentice tried to post up as many as she could at a time just to keep from drowning in the never-ending pile. She wanted to give all shippers freedom to ship as they saw fit, but since the start the notion of ZADR producing a child was seen as absurd. Many found it vulgar, turning their noses up in disgust. Others made no argument, but merely walked out the Shrine doors without looking back, convinced that this aspect alone was enough to discredit the entire Order of ZADR. This then opened the floodgates to a multitude of other discontents, obviously having been bottled up and merely waiting for a trigger to blow its top. It was madness!

It took many fierce (though private) debates but eventually a compromise of adding warning labels was reached and a new charter written and a shaky sort of peace restored. Though again, it was not to last.

The Anti-ZADR Establishment

The anti's had, by this time, created their own formal base of operations, but it was more of a meeting place than a council of war. However, many shippers (still nursing wounds from battles past) saw this as an opportunity to turn the tables. "Why establish an organization based on hate?", they'd 'innocently' venture in and ask. "Why not realize it's stupid to dedicate so much time to something you want nothing to do with?"

The anti-leader was not amused. The last straw came after a spy reported them to the local authorities for unfair promotion practices within their community. She gave up and left the place for dead, refusing to give the keys to anyone else. The membership suffered a severe blow to morale, now that they had no place to go. Although the Order of ZADR did not think the means to this end appropriate, many could not help but secretly smile at this small victory over the enemy.

But not everyone was so ready to admit defeat. One member of the anti-community went on to form something else. Not another place for hate, but a place for friendship. It was not one, nor the other, but a sort of middle ground for the two extremes. Many abandoned souls from the anti community flocked there, admitting that perhaps rivaling enemies could achieve amity... but not more than that.  

Not long after, the old anti meeting place was revived. A new leader had managed to convince the old to relinquish the key and invited the members of old to come back.

The new Order of Friendship was not abandoned because of this, but the people there now held dual membership. This new leader had a stronger resolve and was not so easily baited when the shippers returned to taunt them. But she was no warlord either. She merely asked that both factions leave each other be.

The Ditzy Double Crosser

Before the old order had been re-established, hither to the shrine doors came one named Lydia! Much courage was mustered, said she, to approach the shrine to say what needed to be said, as its contents did verily gross her out. Hear her words, she demanded, and be intimidated!

"I am, Invader Lydia, i run an anti-zadr club. a new one! im new to this, so may all your ZADR-ness die. Can you match up to this? Tis zee website, for my club! thank you cammy, for making it. But anyway. i AM insane, BUT LIKEING ZADR IS THE MOST INSANE THING IN TEE WORLD!!! Sure i like rapr, but zadr is a crime against natcher! and Jhonen Hates it!"

And so it was that the Apprentice was feeling playful that day and decided Miss Lydia's public announcement should be taken seriously and alerted all her members to take her up on it. The response was immediate and overwhelming for poor Miss Lydia whose nerve started to waiver. At first she confided that perhaps she would have embraced the fandom if the idea were not so strange and frightening. Later she conceded that she might become a convert if so many replying members were not so harsh with their words. Then finally one day:

"Oh for god sake! i LIKE zadr and anti-zadr is GONE! So can we be friends? pleasee, i need friends."

Ah, but what's this? Just as soon as the responses slowed and finally stopped, miss Lydia had another change of heart. Perhaps she had spoken in haste and at that moment wanted only to slip quietly out the back door and be on her merry way. The Apprentice obliged and even shut the door behind her~

The Berserker

Out of the abyss appeared a newcomer, a girl who knew no morals, who recognized no law, and thrived in hallucinations that she was a wolf-creature and the future wife of the brain-child that the Great Jhonen called Dib. Her wrath to all that threatened this illusion was savage.

"ITS GROSS AND ALL U ARE PERVS!!!!!!!!! AND IMA GIRL YOU WEIRDO'S! I LOVE DIB!"

At first, the shippers thought to ignore or at least laugh at the girl. But she would not be deterred. To the doors of the ZADR Shrine she marched and decried them; to the homes of the shippers she tracked them down and set their treasures ablaze; one by one she went full circle and kept coming back for more. All alone she launched a full-scale assault and turned the entire Order of ZADR against her, but she did not back down nor did she feel intimidated by their numbers.

"i feel sorry for you immature ones, its a shame you skiped school, and ended up in a mental constitution....im done wasting time on immature people like you."

The Apprentice appealed to the High Priestess (though no longer in absolute power, she was still held in high regard and her counsel sought from time to time). Together they attempted to negotiate with wolf-girl, but to no avail.

"ok, im not a spammer! i just hate zadr, and people are now coming to my account to "critisize" my opinion about ZADR. theres nothing wrong with hating it!
you guys are being the spammer for calling me gross for my opinion, thats not a reason to report me, im reporting you."

But before heads started rolling, a ray of hope was found! An attendant to the Priestess had made a discovery, that this wolf-girl had let slip she was underage, too young to even enter the community at large! This news was rushed to the authorities who quickly dispatched the girl and all cheered her banishment!

...a banishment that lasted all of 5 minutes.

"ONe OF YOU ZADR FANS SQUEELED!!!!!!!!!!ON ME!!!! didnt u even know im turned 13 today, i woke up on my b-day to my account gone!!!and im 13 now!!!!!! how dare yu!"

She came back. Under a new name and new face she came back and started her rampage again. Again, she was brought forward and de-masked, once more thrown out of the community. Twice more she was excommunicated and twice more she came back, each time under a new alias. The situation seemed hopeless. There was no stopping her. It seemed the fate of all shippers was only to endure her tyranny and just go on about their business as best they could.

One day, the Apprentice was wandering the grounds of DA and thought to visit the Anti-shrine to see what they were up to. What she discovered was completely unexpected! The wolf-girl, who had long been thought to be a lone-warrior, had applied for membership there! She was now a part of an organization of peers and here, perhaps, were people who could control her.

The Apprentice was quick to beg audience with the anti-leader and proposed a peace treaty between them; a peace treaty in which, should anyone break it, the perpetrator would only be warned once. Upon a second infraction, they would be cast out of the community forever. The anti-leader agreed and both organizations made the news public to all their members. The wolf-girl was never heard from again.

The Village Idiot

It was a long time before trouble began to brew once more. It was the same trouble the Apprentice had always had, but this time it seemed mind-numbingly unbearable. It came from the flock of 'Art Appreciators'.

These were the ones that would swoop into the shrine, see something they liked and place a gold star of approval on the canvas, considered a great honor in the DA community. But these honors were not rightfully theirs, for the art did not belong to the owners of the shrine. The Apprentice did her best to get this message across, to send these 'appreciators' in the right direction. Sometimes she succeeded, but most of the time the 'appreciators' couldn't be bothered. The members of the shrine who had donated their art suffered from this negligence and the Apprentice was practically helpless to stop it. Regardless, for the love of their fandom, she persevered.

The Apprentice was business as usual, when a newbie approached. The Apprentice tried to guide this new 'art appreciator' off the wayward path and send her in the right direction. Usually these appeals to fairness were never responded to, but neither were the offenders heard from again. This time, it was different.

"the first 2 I like out of the last one though! to b honest!"

This one seemed disoriented and confused, though happy to give lip-service. After countless attempts at reasoning, the Apprentice discovered her efforts futile, but also that this one was young...

"yes exactllly,im under age.... thats all I wanted to say!"

young enough to be susceptible to a certain safe-guard the Apprentice had only used sparingly in the past, as it was hard to work with. But perhaps all those others who had sinned against the shrine in the past shared this in common? If so, it might be the only way to stop them...

The ZADR shrine attendants set to work, covering every sketch and picture with a cloak, a dull gray shield that concealed all to those yet to come of age. Those not yet mature enough to see through it's filter would be forced to RTFM or wander away and towards the more brightly colored galleries belonging to the true artists.

The congregation of shippers who were also susceptible to this safe-guard were not happy. This was inconvenient. It was time-consuming. For some, who had attained membership in secret, it was even dangerous.

But the Apprentice stood firm by her decision. She had faith that this was the answer and many members who had an idea of the pains the shrine attendants went through on their behalf, showed their support. And so all made their peace and moved one.

The Lost Sanctuary

One day, the Tallest's Apprentice sent a package off to a sister ZADR shrine, set up beyond the walls of the DA community. It contained a hot and juicy cargo, to be added to the steamy collection of artistic splendor too divine to be displayed among the normal selection. She was confused when it was returned, and then horrified when she read the accompanying message: "Zadrpron" Shrine does not exist. Package is being returned to sender.

This was devastating. There had been so much that the Order of ZADR had stored away in that sister shrine over the years. They had struggled so hard to find a home for this precious cargo that wasn't welcome anywhere else. The authorities of the DA community had rejected it and so it had been moved to the Y! where it enjoyed a stay of a few weeks before that community also cast it out. The attendants had been forced to pick up the pieces each time and start again somewhere else, but each time it was found too taboo to be accepted. Then they'd found the Yahoo... Yahoo gave its nod of approval and gave them only modest guidelines to go by. It seemed perfect. Many months went by and all was well. The sister shrine was expanding encouragingly with no obstacles in sight.

So what had happened?

The Apprentice didn't know... but she had a suspicion. Until she could prove it, she could only think to solicit the help of the membership to once again find their precious yaoi a new home.

During this time of inspecting suggested new sites, the Apprentice's thoughts kept going back to her...

The sister shrine had not always had the same attendant. There had been another, a more shrewd and sharp-tongued woman, that had tended to it before. This woman had left not so many moons ago and had done so while not on the best of terms with the Apprentice. The lock to the shrine had not been changed after her departure so she still had the key and had access to it... could she have been responsible for this atrocity?

After asking for the Listed Building Consent from the Yahoo authorities, it was discovered that the demolition of the old shrine HAD indeed been an inside job, done by someone claiming to be the owner/attendant. This betrayal struck deep in her heart. She decided to mourn it's loss and never rebuild again.

The Rock

The safe-guards that had earlier been employed to dissuade the abusers were proving more and more useless. During it's first month already 50 abuses had been committed. But what else could be done?

The answer came in the form of a rock. One day, it just rolled inside the doors, waved cheerily, then continued on it's way down the gallery. As it bounced off the walls, leaving a trail of stars as far as the eye could see, the Apprentice chased after it and begged it to stop.

"lol and okay"

The rock rolled away in mock fear and then continued upon it's business. The Apprentice tried to bargain, to ask the rock that if it only took back the stars she would bring the original artwork and set it at its feet. The rock said, "h*ll no !!"

The more the Apprentice tried to reason, the angrier the rock became, cursing her and rolling away, leaving crap-loads of starry trails behind it.

"give up already loser!"

The Apprentice was filled with rage. She had had enough. After consulting the High Priestess, she closed the doors to the shrine and made it condemned. She would try to serve their faithful followers some other way. Many would see the closed doors and sink in despair, saying in their hearts, "This is the end." Others stood true, their love for their fandom and the caretakers thereof made their faith unshakable. Many contributed ideas and tried to help while others could only think to sling mud and other filth at the closed doors, calling the Apprentice's act suicide. But the worst was yet to come.

The Prank
It all turned out to be a prank. The shrine attendants had never intended to close their doors permanently. It had been merely a jest in honor of the April holiday, a jest that would be revealed on the first day. But things did not go as planned. The membership was panicked. Harsh words rivaling the cries that crumbled the biblical walls of Jericho and hurt feelings were flying off the walls. Three days into the prank it was called off. A public announcement of the prank along with an apology was given.

Many of the shippers were even angrier than before. Feelings of relief were overpowered by feelings of betrayal. The respect towards the shrine attendants had sunk low in their eyes. It was true that the Apprentice, who in place of the High Priestess was now in a position of power, had a short fuse and the shrine had past history of saying exactly what was on their minds. Many would leave, turn their backs on the shrine and cry "PHAIL!" as they rode away on their llamas. A great loss, and testament to the shrine's folly. But this would not be it's end. The attendants would pick up the pieces and rebuild. Everything would be as it was before, except now they would all be a little wiser (and thicker-skinned) for the experience.

Down with the Dark Side

4 years after the shrine's beginnings, things were very different. The commoners now had access to the sacred thumbnails that had once been the sole privilege of the higher classes. Where once people were begged to join the ranks, now staunch tests were in place to weed out the uncommitted and admit only those who earned that right. The once plain homepage was now rife with all manner of decor from monthly themed calendar works to fully animated webcams. Through democratic election an official symbol had been taken up as well as a uniform. The main art gallery that had once been open to the public was now mainly stored away, leaving behind only those orphaned by their original creators or whose native foreign dialect had not been translated elsewhere. New works that were put on display for a week were now limited to a single day. The warning labels from the time of the M-Preg Bomb were now useless.

Not everyone adjusted well to this change.

"I wish to God we still had that B, N, etc system where if it was something we hated WE DIDN'T HAVE TO SEE IT!

I logon today and whats in my inbox but [a work in which the Dib had been forced into submission and dehumanized by Zim]

If this club is going to push THat in our faces, the very lest it can do is spaer some space for the oposite veiwpoint. I did these a little while ago but hardly anybody said anything. [links to works illustrating the fine line between sexy S&M and outright domestic abuse]"

Immediately following such complaints was almost exactly the opposite of them. Works in which Zim became maimed and mutilated by the Dib were made in offering to the ZADR Shrine. These things horrified and confused the Apprentice. When questioned, the fangirl spoke thus:

"According to Zim, "Human affection ... from what I have been able to determine is pain based." LOVE = PAIN, MKAY!? D:

People who love Dib draw this stuff All The Time and encourage all kinds of abouse and rape of Dib, and that's ZADR and that seems to be fine. People who love Dib get to enjoy seeing him bloody and beat up, so what are the people who love Zim supposed to get to enjoy looking at?"

The dark side of the fandom had come under attack. Where once the offense had been the fluffy cuteness that had been decried as OOC, where the only true-to-character way these two opposing forces could realistically come together was violently, had come into question. How could these conflicting POV's be reconciled?

Though not completely to either side's satisfaction, a compromise was eventually reached. The dull gray shields from the time of the Village Idiot would be brought back, incorporated with the warnings from the time of the Bomb. New standards were written out. The dark side of the fandom would now need to clearly convey feelings of romantic love/lust/passion. If a work conveys one boy obviously gleeful over hurting the other, the shrine would not accept them.

Final Days

"When are you guys gonna convert into a group?"

A new trend had swept across the dA. Gone were the days of leadership and democracy, everyone hailed the coming of the communist reform: anyone could submit anything, with minimal oversight involved. But this community came at a price... the price of losing the shrine's ONLA (Original No Longer Available) pieces. Hundreds of them. Unless everything was transferred to another location. All past attempts at offsite storage had involved long and tedious labor, only to always end up in ostracization and ruin. The Y!gallery, Yahoo Groups, Furaffinity, and even creating their own zimxdib website... everything they worked so hard for was lost. There were no safe havens elsewhere. The High Priestess no longer had the strength to build again from scratch.

Countermeasures soon followed. Group accounts began cropping up all over, each with a subtle spin: MiniZ-A-D-R, Seme-Dib-Club, Seme-Zim-club, zadrroleplay, zadr-fanfiction, on and on and on. The masses who had clamored for these groups lost no time in rushing over, and flooding their works over to fill their galleries.

The apprentice became worried. Did she make the right choice? The original house of ZADR had been divided. It was old and set in its ways. These groups were shiny and new! Would the shrine be crushed under their popularity and become abandoned, like an ancient relic? Should she convert after all? Was it too late?

She thought back on the shrine's history. There was a time when there was SO much activity, members had to wait MONTHS to see their work posted, despite 3 new drawings being added daily. Now there was so few it was down to a matter of days. There was a time premium subscription donations were abundant, making the front page beautiful and full of content! Now it was back to being normal, no more polls, nor gallery highlights, nor Zim and Dib maids to greet visitors from the journal tops.

It seemed the glory years of the shrine were gone. Its future seemed uncertain. After having struggled to survive for so long, it had finally come down to this. The apprentice knew that things would never be the same again. Her once bustling shrine would remain silent and sparse. She had deep roots in this fandom though, and refused to abandon her post. She would continue to attend to her beloved shrine for as long as she was able.